Revoking Baptism and Confirmation

I spent my early teen­age years attend­ing a cath­olic high school where debate about the more dubi­ous aspects of organ­ised reli­gion was rel­at­ively open, so I’ve gen­er­ally had an atti­tude of live and let live; as long as people don’t attempt to impose their fairy tales on me I won’t get on their backs about how silly they’re being.

Well, dur­ing a recent stay in New Zea­l­and with my fam­ily I came under a lot of pres­sure to attend a Sunday church ser­vice. All stops were pulled. “Do it for Mum.” “Do it for me.” Even my three year old niece was draf­ted in, adorned with requis­ite ador­ably inno­cent face, to push the guilt nail home and drag me from my warm hangover haven of a bed.

I think it was at this point that I decided a pass­ive pos­i­tion on reli­gion was an out­moded strategy. I explained to my con­fused niece that I dis­agreed with going to church but that it was okay for her to go without me. So, her first hint that there’s some­thing fishy about going to church. Not bad for a three year old.

Book cover of The Tree of Life: The Wonder of Evolution, by Ellen JacksonShe had a birth­day recently so I did the only right thing, I gave her a children’s book on evol­u­tion: The Tree of Life: The Won­ders of Evol­u­tion. Not the easi­est kind of book to find. It’s the only one I man­aged to unearth that con­veys the won­der and excite­ment of evol­u­tion. I can recom­mend it, I just wish it was illus­trated in colour.

As an agnostic my basic philo­soph­ical view with regard to theo­logy is that I do not know how many gods there are, whether there be thou­sands, one or zero, and I don’t regard it as a par­tic­u­larly import­ant ques­tion. My mother and I had agreed not to dis­cuss the sub­ject of reli­gion at one point but, judging from my recent visit home, my heresy appears to be back on the table. So the gloves are off.

I’ve decided that the only recon­cil­able thing to do in order to con­vey my ser­i­ous­ness and help break the cycle is revoke my Bap­tism and Con­firm­a­tion and encour­age my friends and whanau to do the same.

What it means for my god­father status with regard to my niece I’m unsure. Tra­di­tion­ally god­par­ents have been con­sidered inform­ally respons­ible for ensur­ing the child’s reli­gious edu­ca­tion is car­ried out and for caring for the child should he or she be orphaned. Although my sis­ter, her hus­band and I are far more inter­ested in the later the Roman Cath­olic Church, accord­ing to Wiki­pe­dia, requires that god­par­ents are Con­firmed, so let’s just say there could be tech­nical difficulties.

Now, if I could just work out how to do it. Nat­ur­ally I’ll keep you posted.

Note: Whanau and friends are encour­aged to com­ment below or forever hold their peace. Let’s have this one out in the open where opin­ions can be recor­ded for posterity.

Update, 28th April, 2006: It turns out you can’t actu­ally revoke Bap­tism or Con­firm­a­tion. Accord­ing to Wiki­pe­dia such sac­ra­ments are said to leave indelible spir­itual marks on one’s being. The out­come of this is the sub­ject of my next post. Stay tuned!

Comments

15 Comments so far. Leave a comment below.
  1. • There are prob­lems with being agnostic, and you’ve run into one of them.
    • “Don’t know” (lit­er­ally: not know, the dir­ect oppos­ite of know) means you accept that some parts of one or more of the reli­gions you are agnostic about, might be true, so you pre­sum­ably must act in ways that won’t cause too much offence if it turns out to be true.
    • Hence your con­cern about what happened in the past, before you became an inde­pend­ent per­son (the equal of any­one else, free to choose your own actions or inactions).

    • As someone who does know I was mis­taken in my earlier life, I have no such complications.

    David (athe­ist).

  2. Hi David, some good points, but I’m not agnostic about reli­gion, I’m agnostic about the exist­ence of gods, and espe­cially the idea of a cre­ator. I’ve always been puzzled by the athe­ist pos­i­tion. How can you pos­sibly know?

    On the other hand I’ve spent most of my life study­ing Chris­tian­ity and the like and I’ve come to the con­clu­sion that it’s a big steam­ing pile of human-created shite, used to keep people under the thumb.

  3. • First (and less import­ant): my athe­ist view of the world is based on my 60 years’ exper­i­ence with the place of Occam’s Razor in sci­ence: “The min­imum needed to explain some­thing, is more likely to be cor­rect than a more com­plic­ated explan­a­tion”. That’s my ver­sion; see Wikipedia’s:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ockham%27s_razor , and:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_of_Ockham
     — So adding an extra layer (in this case, super­nat­ural) is unnecessary.

    • To your main quandar­ies: (1) your own atti­tude to your Bap­tism and Con­firm­a­tion, and (2) how to describe the respons­ib­il­ity you have agreed to take on, which you now call: being your niece’s godfather.

    Re (1):
    Easy. They happened in the past, before you became an inde­pend­ent per­son (the equal of any­one else, free to choose your own actions or inac­tions). Every­one is con­stantly re-creating their own world, so simply write them out of your cur­rent world. And leave other adults free to make their own choices about their atti­tudes to such ceremonies.

    Re (2):
    Slightly more dif­fi­cult since it involves someone other than your­self.
    My advice is that the three of you (“my sis­ter, her hus­band and I”) come to a new agree­ment based on you being her uncle, in which you agree to take on all the respons­ib­il­it­ies you thought you were tak­ing on when asked the first time. (Such as: you will be someone your niece can count on being help­ful when she’s totally fed up with her par­ents, and her legal guard­ian after both par­ents die.)

    • My gen­eral atti­tude is that, if it involves reas­on­able people, suit­able arrange­ments can almost always be made, by negotiation.

    David.

  4. Sug­gest you check out this site some­time when you have the time and please let me know what you think of it :)
    http://www.examineyourself.com
    Bless ya.

  5. Thanks Grace but I couldn’t find any instruc­tions explain­ing how to revoke my Bap­tism and Con­firm­a­tion on that web­site. I did find one page that seemed to be aimed at me, it said becom­ing a Chris­tian was the most incred­ible event that ever took place in my life. I’d say that’s a fair description.

    By the way here’s a web­site you’ll prob­ably find just as use­ful as I found yours. :)

  6. David, agree with your points, but com­ing to an arrange­ment with my sis­ter won’t be a prob­lem. The thing is I actu­ally want to form­ally revoke my Con­firm­a­tion and God­par­ents are required by the Church to be Con­firmed as far as I know. I’m assum­ing there will be some sort of formal pro­cess to take place, espe­cially with regard to not being a “God­father” any­more as far as the Church is con­cerned, so this is what I was refer­ring to as “tech­nical difficulties.”

    With regard to your athe­ism, as you point out, Occam’s Razor talks about being “more likely,” so I still don’t under­stand how you can know that there are no gods. Using Occam’s Razor you can only “know” that it is more likely there are no gods.

  7. Brad,

    I believe you have mis­read the situ­ation. To my know­ledge nobody was for­cing their reli­gious views on you, they were simply want­ing you to take part in a fam­ily out­ing. Every­body is entitled to their on views rightly or wrongly on how the world began and how it con­tin­ues to run to day. Accept­ing oth­ers people’s views is where the world is sadly lack­ing, this in my view is the only way towards world peace but I don’t believe it will ever hap­pen. As for attend­ing church with the fam­ily this is a small sac­ri­fice to make for a fam­ily to run smoothly. I am not a cath­olic but do not have any qualms about attend­ing a Cath­olic church ser­vice with Tar­isha or your Mum & Dad when I visit Napier. I hope you will con­sider these thoughts before driv­ing a wedge between you & your family.

    Regards

    Brad

  8. Hi Brad, thanks for the con­sidered response. Always appreciated.

    I would like to think that no one in my fam­ily would con­sider dif­fer­ing views on reli­gion to be grounds for driv­ing a wedge between each other and were this not the case it would only rein­force my con­clu­sion that such reli­gious faith is best rejec­ted in the strongest pos­sible terms.

    Want­ing me to take part in a fam­ily out­ing would have nat­ur­ally been a factor (on my part too, hence I took the option to meet up for cof­fee after­wards) but the major driver was and is reli­gion. This, I would have thought, is self-evident and there’s cer­tainly no effort to hide it (we’ve debated it on numer­ous occa­sions), which is not sur­pris­ing when you con­sider my pun­ish­ment for not hav­ing the sense to accept Jesus Christ as the God Almighty is Eternal Dam­na­tion at the hand of somebody’s Boo­gie Monster.

    You’re right that keep­ing up appear­ances by going to Church may be a small sac­ri­fice but that assumes the only sac­ri­fice is my own, which it’s not. The biggest driver for me is those grow­ing up around me, my nieces and neph­ews. By renoun­cing Chris­tian­ity I think one can help break the cycle that keeps faith in bizarre anti-human fairy tales alive, in the pro­cess mit­ig­at­ing much of the per­sonal and soci­etal dam­age it causes. My renun­ci­ation would give those grow­ing up around me an impetus to at least ques­tion at an early stage what they may be lead to believe.

    Free­dom of reli­gion is con­sidered by many to be a fun­da­mental human right, and that includes free­dom from reli­gion. The prin­ciple of accept­ing other people’s views is ele­ment­ary but you seem to turn it on its head. Not only am I to accept another person’s view but I’m to dis­pense with my own and carry out the other person’s view in con­tra­dic­tion to my own. In fact I do accept my Mother’s views on reli­gion; I don’t intend to pres­sure her into renoun­cing Chris­tian­ity, so it would be far more con­sist­ent on your part to argue that it would be a small sac­ri­fice on the part of those who believe in the super­nat­ural to accept my views and refrain from pres­sur­ing me into fol­low­ing their doctrine.

    We stand at the pos­sible pre­cip­ice of WWIII, a gate­way to hell on earth, and if the Middle East goes up in a mush­room cloud there are people in the highest levels of power who won’t see it so much as a tragedy but as bib­lical proph­ecy. I think it’s time to break the cycle.

  9. Greg Metcalfe,

    Chris­ti­aan,

    I hap­pen to be a devote Chris­tian. I was con­ver­ted later in life and have had many struggles with my faith and, to an even greater extent, the espous­ings of the Church. How­ever, I respect the fact that you have obvi­ously put a lot of thought into your decision to renounce your Chris­tian upbring­ings. Many people these days seem to cast of Chris­tian­ity based on pub­lic opin­ions or unin­formed pre­ju­dices. You, on the other hand, appear to have care­fully con­sidered your position.

    I have found what (who) I am look­ing for in this life, and I sin­cerely hope you do as well.

    Good for­tunes,

    Greg

  10. Scott,

    I do not remem­ber where I heard this or if it is true but the only way to revoke your Bap­tism or Con­firm­a­tion was to put it in your last will and test­a­ment.
    I have done this because I do not wish to have any of that super­sti­tion or mumbo-jumbo at my services.

    My sis­ter was very upset with me (for a while) but she got over it.

    As for the god­father part for your nieces and neph­ews, isn’t there some legal guard­ian papers that have noth­ing to do with the church?

    Athe­ist Scott

  11. I for­get the num­ber of the canon law that pre­scribes it, but you can leave the (Roman Cath­olic) church by form­ally renoun­cing your affil­i­ation to the church and hav­ing that renun­ci­ation received by an appro­pri­ate church leader (like a par­ish priest or bishop).
    If I were you, I’d write a let­ter and ask for a response or make an appoint­ment to speak with a priest…Then Ta-Da! You are no longer Cath­olic. Sorry about the indelible mark stuff though, noth­ing we can do about that, but if you don’t believe in it, does it really matter?

    Though I find it a bit offens­ive and mis­lead­ing (and I’m a lib­eral fem­in­ist), here’s a sight by athe­ists that talks about renoun­cing the church: http://www.atheistfoundation.org.au/excommunication.htm

    In terms of your God-Parenting, you might sug­gest to your brother or sis­ter that they find another co-Godparent to do the “spir­itual leadership/conversation” part of the job. The point of a God­par­ent is to give chil­dren another per­son (besides their par­ents) to talk to about faith and reli­gion. You could still do that for your God­child, but if the child is cath­olic, it would be help­ful if the per­son s/he talked to had some cur­rent ground­ing in the faith she was a mem­ber of.

    Good Luck! I hope you find some­thing that works for you!

    –dc

  12. Aidan,

    hope this isn’t to late.
    I’ve been think­ing about the same things Chris­ti­aan. I actu­ally found your page while try­ing to do the same thing.

    I’m con­sid­er­ing the following

    1. Get my bap­tism and con­firm­a­tion cer­ti­fic­ates, post them to your local bishop or to the vat­ican. Explain that it was a mis­take I joined their club, someone else did it on my behalf and I would like to leave and be removed from their mail­ing list

    2. Get excom­mu­nic­ated for extreme blas­phemy or heresy. Per­haps I’ll say some­thing like the bible clearly indic­ates or states that the pope blows don­key dick, (I’m sure I’ll find a ref­er­ence to make it stick) or that some porn star­lett is actu­ally the 2nd com­ming of jesus etc. I’d even desac­rate a com­mu­nion bis­cuit and post it to them. Im sure there are many ways. I might just write to the vat­ican and ask, or tell them

    3. This is a more mod­er­ate option. I con­sider that I was never asked if I wanted to join this club (bap­tism) and I was tricked into tak­ing out the exten­ded mem­ber­ship (con­firm­a­tion). There­fore, it is not really their decision to release me, but my decision to leave. I no longer con­sider myself a cath­olic or chris­tian of any sort. I am prob­ably both agnos­itc and ath­i­est in that I neither know nor believe (much the same as my pos­i­tion on santa, easter bunny etc), but I digress.

    4. for someth­ging sym­bol­lic there is always an un-baptism and un-confirmation ceramony/party. Get some friends round, renounce it with wit­ness, have some beers and a BBQ, and use the cer­ti­fic­ates to light the fire and have some blas­phemy burgers.

    Remem­ber, you never really asked to join and you dont need the per­mis­sion of a hitler-youther in a pointy hat to leave.

    may Dar­win be with you my friend

    Aidan

  13. You may be inter­ested in this chapter of “How to become a Hindu”. This par­tic­u­lar Hindu group require formal sev­er­ance from pre­vi­ous reli­gions, and the end of the chapter includes some formal sev­er­ance let­ters received. (not all Hindu groups require this, in fact this group is pos­sibly unique)

    You are prob­ably only inter­ested in sec­tion 3 of this chapter together with the let­ters at the end, which includes some from the Cath­olic church (other sec­tions are about tak­ing up the Hindu religion).

    I would view this as the best way of revok­ing a bap­tism and confirmation.

  14. Jose,

    Good stuff Chris­ti­aan , i came across your site look­ing for inform­a­tion on how to revoke my bap­tism. what a small world. i would like to know if you already did this revoc­a­tion or know of someone who had suc­cess with it.?
    thanks , and keep up the good work.
    Jose

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